not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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