watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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