i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
