I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
