My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I believe in your delicious
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize