I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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