I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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