I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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