whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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