the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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