I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just high enough for therapy.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize