so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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