So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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