i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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