Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Boobs are out for the taking
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
