i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize