This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
