I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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