so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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