Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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