And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
