I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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