my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize