i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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