Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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