I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize