I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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