She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i've created a new STD.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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