Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
