come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize