I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
