Will you blow on my dice?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
