the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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