Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
