my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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