i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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