She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
