Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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