when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
