this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
