gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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