Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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