Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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