I think i peed on brittanys purse
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
