So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
