woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
