No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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