They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
