I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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