ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
