there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
