I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dear god my vagina.
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