Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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