i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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