Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
