I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
