I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
