if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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