i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I party with great urgency now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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