I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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